How are Stress and Emotional Stability connected?
Exerting stress on the body improves fitness, strength, stamina… can we use the same principle on our mental health? Stress makes us more resilient? Quite the contrary, stress leads to instability, irrationality, erratic behaviors, when the mind is relaxed it functions at it’s peak. Ever been trying to remember something, and the more you put pressure on yourself the more it evades you, and then you are out for a leisurely walk, or in the shower and it clicks! It comes to you in a relaxed state, the more stress we put on ourselves the less it serves us, the WHO states that stress is responsible for 90% of all illnesses. Stress ignites the fear center of the brain, the amygdala, responsible for fight or flight, causing us to behave aggressively (fight) or withdraw (flight) both of which are inconducive to rational problem solving. When you are stressed haven’t you noticed the smallest things can get under your skin, whereas when you are relaxed you have a much greater tolerance? If we are dealing with anger, the million-dollar question becomes, how can we manage the stress that drives the emotion?
How well do you know yourself?
Who do you spend most time with? Your spouse? Your colleagues? Your cat? In fact, it is with yourself, there is an incessant mental chatter, judging this and that, creating stories and meanings, what does it say about you? To let go of anger, it starts with your own relationship with yourself, are you treating yourself aggressively? Pushing from one goal to the next, neglecting our needs, unable to rest, and be content? How we are to others is a reflection to how we are to yourself, if we are hypercritical of others chances are we are holding the same marker for ourselves. Choosing forgiveness, acceptance and kindness first brings relief to ourselves as we can extend this to how we see ourselves and then mirror that to our relationships.
What are the signs to look for?
Here are some ways to watch out for high stress and anger issues:
- Short and snappy, always on a ‘get things done’ mode?
- General impatience with others
- Aloof in communication, often judgemental
- Restless sleep
- Locked jaw, stiff shoulders
- Serious facial expressions
- Agitated movements
- Short and shallow breathing, often through the mouth
When we are in this state of suppressed anger we often act out in haste, resisting the present situation but feeling powerless to change it. This feels like a big obstacle where we lash out in an attitude of non-acceptance, this often leads us to spiral into regret of our actions and makes us feel even more resentful and powerless. To address the root we first need to realize how important it is to accept things as they are, without judgement.
How can I overcome anger?
The danger with anger is that the more we avoid it the shorter our fuse becomes, have the courage to take an inspired action to really make a difference. Are you waiting till your next blow up to do something about it? The time is now, do it for yourself and your relationships, it’s exhausting and upsetting being angry all the time, you deserve to be free and happy, all that’s needed is some basic training in the techniques to handle our emotions with more compassionate awareness. If you are ready to make a change, we are here and ever ready to help, guiding you each step of the way click here to learn about our programs of self-empowerment programs, it’s time to let go of old emotional patterns that have been stifling your energy.